You Gotta Keep Doing Your Current Job

Posted on March 22, 2012 by Scott Koon

“The price of success is hard work, dedication to the job at hand, and the determination that whether we win or lose, we have applied the best of ourselves to the task at hand.”
~Vince Lombardi

Seventeen or so years ago, I joined my organization as a Help Desk specialist.  Within two years, I had been promoted to one of the three managers responsible for day-to-day operation of the Help Desk.  A year after that, I was the only manager–the others had moved to other jobs.  At the time the Help Desk was “affectionately” called “the helpless desk” because callers were waiting an average of 20 minutes before they could speak to someone.  That was soon to change.

A group of Help Desk staff had developed an idea that would end up cutting call times down significantly while improving the service provided once you were speaking to one of the agents.  All I needed to do was organize the implementation, talk leadership into funding it, and then get out of the way.  I did.  It was a blast.  We were young, we had some great ideas, and we had all the resources we needed.  And, the idea worked even better than expected.

Once the implementation was over and we had resolved the major issues, we settled into operational mode.  Instead of brainstorming sessions and exciting implementations, we were creating reports and trying to hold the gains.  It was very important work, but it wasn’t as much fun.  I started looking around for something new.

As part of that search, I asked a member of senior administration if she would mind meeting with me, and she agreed.  As we were talking, she gave me a tremendous amount of useful information and advice.  However, I found one piece of advice very profound.

What was that advice?  No matter what else you are doing, you need to fulfill your current job duties.  This sounds obvious, but there has been at least one occasion when I forgot and paid the price.  I have seen many others forget, too.

Your current position is the base from which you will be able to reach to the next level.  It is the foundation upon which you build your career future.  A building’s foundation needs care and regular maintenance to ensure it is solid.  If it is neglected, that base begins to crumble and the building becomes unstable.  Similarly, if you neglect your current job, your career options become uncertain.

So, while you are preparing yourself for your next position, be sure to work hard at your current job.  Work as if you intend to stay, and keep working that way until you have completed negotiations on the start date for your next adventure.  Then, focus your efforts on helping your leadership and team prepare for the transition.  Not only will doing so help your organization, but it will help you build a reputation as a hard worker who truly cares for your colleagues and your organization.  Having that reputation certainly won’t hurt your chances of snagging that next job.

Image Credit: US Bureau of Land Management
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Hey, I was just being funny!–Are you laughing away your next job?

Posted on March 21, 2012 by Scott Koon

“Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.”
~Anonymous

I’m a smart-aleck.  If you asked my mom, she’d likely tell you I’ve been that way ever since I was able to put together a complete sentence.   Most of the time, it isn’t too much of an issue.  However, there have been times when my mouth has gotten me into a pile of trouble.  A couple of examples come immediately to mind.

A few years ago, I was part of a work group that reviewed projects and helped decide how to prioritize them against each other and the work already in progress.  There were always way too many projects and far too few resources, and the meetings were often stressful.

On one occasion, we had been discussing a particularly troublesome project.  It came to us as a last minute emergency, it required a tremendous amount of work, and the timeline was very short.  It was a train wreck waiting to happen.  Nobody wanted this project and we were all doing our best to not be volunteered.  At one point the conversation became heated and out popped “Evil Scott”.   I started making snide comments to the effect that an emergency on the proponent’s part shouldn’t necessarily mean an emergency on our part.  I was on-fire.  The mood changed and people started adding their comments, too. But I killed any good feelings when I said, “Hey, why don’t we assign this to Debbie.  She hasn’t got any projects.  She’s got plenty of time!”

Debbie turned bright red.  Everyone noticed and the room went silent.

After an awkward pause, I mumbled, “Hey, I was only kidding.”  The meeting broke up shortly after that, and Debbie and I didn’t speak more than a sentence or two over the next several days.

Let me back up here a second.  Debbie was the secretary of the work group.  She was deeply involved in just about every project and was responsible for providing all of the background and documentation for all the incoming projects so we could make the best decisions possible.   In exchange for all her work before the meetings, it was agreed she wouldn’t be assigned specific projects.  We all knew this.  What I didn’t know is that she had been feeling guilty about the project load the rest of us were being assigned.  She had commented to her supervisor that she wished she could help the rest of us out. The comment I made, intending to be funny, touched a sore spot for Debbie. To her, it wasn’t funny at all.

The other instance happened at around the same time.  I was interviewing for a position I really wanted.  I was perfect for this position.  The job description and my resume might have been written by the same person.  In addition, the interview was being conducted by people I knew, so I let my guard down—perhaps a little too much.

At one point I was asked, “What would you do if you were placed in a position where there were multiple projects needing to be completed, using the same resources, at the same time, and all of the projects were deemed critical to the organization?”

I quickly replied, “I’d quit.”  Then I laughed.  I thought it was quite funny.  After a couple of guffaws, I noticed I was the only one laughing.  Everyone else was looking at at me as if I had suddenly grown a second head.  I tried to recover by saying, “Just kidding.  Actually, that situation happens quite frequently, and the last time it did…”  Unfortunately, the damage was already done.  The end result was that I did not get the position.  When I asked for feedback, I was told some of my jokes led the interview panel to believe I wasn’t taking the position seriously.

So here’s the thing.  I strongly believe appropriate humor can be used to lighten a tense situation.  I have done so successfully on many occasions.  However, sometimes sarcasm is used in an attempt to be funny and sarcasm can be very dangerous.   Sarcasm is often used to conceal frustration, anger, or fear.  If you are feeling any of these emotions, take a deep breath and be very careful about trying to be funny.  If you get a reputation for being flip or sarcastic, you may be laughing at the expense of your next job.

Image Credit: http://weird-websites.info/Funny-Faces/funny-faces-by-silly-little-girls-games-weird-face-pics.htm
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What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger

Posted on March 20, 2012 by Scott Koon

“Opposition is a natural part of life. Just as we develop our physical muscles through overcoming opposition – such as lifting weights – we develop our character muscles by overcoming challenges and adversity.”
~Stephen R. Covey

Several years ago, I made the stupidest career move in my life.  I took a promotion.

I accepted the position for what I thought were the right reasons.  The pay was higher.  The position involved more responsibility.  The area was struggling, and I believed I could fix it.  It looked like a good career move.

In fact, right after I accepted the position, I was visited by a member of administrative leadership, let’s call her Samantha.  She told me how excited leadership was that I would be joining that division.  Leadership truly believed I would be the person to turn around the division, and if there was anything I needed, all I had to do was ask.

My new division chair took me to lunch, and told me how happy he was that I was joining his team.  He asked me about my ideas for helping move them forward.  He told me my ideas sounded great, and that I had his support.  He also said if I needed anything, he would be there to help me.

Three days later, that same gentleman introduced me to his division.  “Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce Scott.  He’s here to fix all the issues we’ve been experiencing.  Take it away, Scott.”  The division was less than receptive.  I didn’t blame them.

Less than a week later, I was invited to meet with Samantha.  She asked me how things were going.  When I told her it wasn’t going as well as I’d hoped, she asked why.  As I explained the situation, she told me she wanted to meet with me regularly and provide her status reports regarding how things were going.  I agreed.   At the end of the meeting, she reiterated that leadership believed in me and if I needed help all I needed to do was ask.

The day after my meeting with Samantha my division chair came to my office and sat down in one of my visitor chairs.  Without any introduction, he said, “I heard you visited with Samantha.”

“Sure,” I said, “she wanted to know how my new job was going.”

He leaned in close.  “If you would like to succeed in this division, you will never meet with her again unless it is with my permission.  I would recommend you contact her today and cancel any other meetings you might have scheduled.”

Then he got up and left.  The whole interaction took thirty seconds.

I was stunned, but I did what he told me.  That day, I made some excuses about project work and canceled my next meeting with Samantha.  A week later, I did the same.  On the third week, I ran into Samantha in the hall.  She was a bit angry with me and asked why I had canceled twice.  I told her about the run-in with my division chair, and asked her for help and advice. She shrugged her shoulders and told me he was my supervisor and if my career was to move forward it would be in my best interest to listen to him.  Then she walked away.

There next few months were very painful.  Quite frankly, I got slapped around quite a bit.  And, I never did receive any of the support leadership had promised me.  I had been abandoned.

That wasn’t the bad part.  The bad part was that I quit.  Not the job–I still came to work and collected my paycheck–but I stopped trying.  Once I realized I was in a bad situation, I fully disengaged and joined the ranks of those that have ROTJ (retired on the job).  It has taken me years to turn my attitude (and career) around.  To be quite frank, I am not certain my career has completely recovered.

The situation was ugly.  It was unfair.  I wish things had gone differently, but I did learn several very valuable lessons.

First, before you accept a new position, make certain the job, by itself, is something you want and that you will fit into the team.   The sparkle of additional money, responsibility, and prestige last for a relatively brief time.  After that, the only things left are the people and the work.  If you aren’t excited about them, you’re going to be unhappy.

Second, if you are being sent to fix a problem, before you accept, make as certain as you can you have the authority to make the necessary changes.  If you are sent in as “second or third in command” make certain it is at the invitation of the first in command.  Never accept a position where you are being pitted against someone that will be your boss.  You might succeed, but it will be ugly and will likely damage your career.

Third, never give up.  I played the victim.  “Poor me, I was abandoned.”  It killed me.  Don’t do it.  Keep trying to succeed no matter what.  Get a mentor. Get a coach.  Find a disinterested sponsor.  If you cannot make things better then exit as gracefully as you can.  Just never, (let me repeat) NEVER give up and play dead.  Honestly trying and failing is much better than marking time and collecting a paycheck–especially if you ever hope to move your career forward within your organization.

Knowing what I know now, I would have made different choices.  However, I can say that the lessons I learned were very valuable and kept me from making even bigger mistakes later.  What doesn’t kill you does indeed make you stronger.

Image Credit: http://pinkvisions.wordpress.com/tag/adversity/
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Why The Heck Would You Ever Want To Be A Manager?

Posted on March 19, 2012 by Scott Koon

“When a management team with a reputation for brilliance tackles a business with a reputation for bad economics, it is the reputation of the business that remains intact.”
~Warren Buffett

“Life has meaning only in the struggle. Triumph or defeat is in the hands of the Gods. So let us celebrate the struggle!”
~Swami Sivananda

Being a manager or a leader is just hard work.  What other job can you have where you instantly become part of “them”,  you are regularly accused of doing nothing,  everyone thinks they know how to do your job better than you, and you are wrong whether you make a decision or not (okay weather forcasters and lawyers don’t count).  Finally, you become responsible for every bad result, but are expected to pass credit along to your team should things go well.

Quite frankly, it is often tough to find good things about being a manager.  I think the biggest struggle I have is measuring what I’ve accomplished.  As a manager, most of the time you are judged by the results of your team rather than your direct efforts, and there are likely to be many times when you look back and say “Did I do anything, today?”

Today started off as one of those days.  The day began with one of my team members accusing me of not spending enough time with their team.  I was then told by this individual to explain why I wasn’t as available to the team as they would have liked.  I was flabbergasted.  Who was this person to question my priorities and commitment to the organization?  Didn’t they realize that have several teams who each demand as much of my time as they can get?  Then, I started to feel guilty.  You know, it is hard to measure what I do.  Maybe I could have (or should have) prioritized things differently leaving more time for this team.  Then I got angry, again, because these are adults and they should have been able to figure some of this stuff out for themselves.  I was an emotional yo-yo for over an hour.

By lunch, I was feeling awful.  I felt like throwing in the towel.  I wanted to go back to being “just another team member.”  You know:  One of the people who rolls up their sleeves and digs into the actual work;  one of the folks that at the end of the day can look at what they’ve done and recognize that they’ve created something that matters; one of the lucky people who get together and complain about management and all the things they would do differently.

But when I am feeling the lowest, often something cool happens.  It did, today.  On my way back from a meeting, I ran into a former employee that I had not seen in awhile.  This gentleman looked great.  He was wearing a new suit, and had a smile on his face that stretched from ear to ear.  When I asked how things were going, I learned he was recently hired as a manager and had just had a great meeting with his team.  When I congratulated him, he shook my hand and thanked me for all of the pearls of wisdom I gave, and the living example I provided.  He told me what I had done with his team was the reason he wanted to be a manager.

Wow…

That is why the heck you might want to be a manager.

Being a manager is difficult for all the reasons I mentioned above.  Fortunately, it can also be very fulfilling.  There are very few positions within an organization that allow you the honor of shaping direction and helping staff grow.  And, when you see that happen, it is worth all the effort and frustration.

Image Credit: http://www.salesprogress.com/coaching-leadership/?Tag=bad%20attitudes
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Sometimes you’re the truck and sometimes you’re the deer

Posted on March 7, 2012 by Scott Koon

“The moment we want to believe something, we suddenly see all the arguments for it, and become blind to the arguments against it.”
~George Bernard Shaw

Yesterday I didn’t have a very good day.

I have been trying to find ways to encourage one of my teams to work… well… as a team.  This group of gentlemen has a long history of competing with each other rather than working together.  Unfortunately, the three most senior individuals on this team are the most resistant to change, yet career-wise have the most to gain from it.

Each of these individuals has come to me, interested in being promoted.  In each case, we reviewed their current performance and matched it against the job description for the desired position.  Also, in each case, we discussed the importance of teamwork, communication transparency, and the need to find ways to work with colleagues more.  We also brainstormed (together) ideas to move these individuals closer to their stated goals.  And, when I say “we” brainstormed, I mean “we”.  I came up with the performance criteria, and some examples of how they might be met, but asked them to supply alternatives if they were concerned about my suggestions.  In many cases, we agreed to work with their suggestions.

However, yesterday, one of these individuals came to me very angry.  He realized he has been in his current position for seven years, and told me this needs to change.  “Seven years is too long to be in the same position!”

Unfortunately, he refuses to believe his promotional opportunities are completely within his control.  He has been coached and counciled regarding what skills and behaviors he needs to address in order to move forward.  He has been given suggestions on how to improve his performance.  And, he has heard the very same message from several management-level folks.  The reason he is stuck, is because he has not recognized that message.  Unfortunately for him and anyone he has to work with, he will remain stuck until he recognizes he needs to change or he wears out his welcome and  management lets him go.

As a manager, I find these situations VERY frustrating.  I believe my job is to help my employees progress in their career.  I also know I am not perfect, and I try to improve with each interaction.  However, some days that is very difficult.  Some days, your best efforts are met with disbelief, or flat out hostility (as was the case, yesterday).  Some days you are able to cruise down the highway and suddenly, a deer jumps in front of your truck.  WHAM!  Other days, are worse.  Some days you are the deer.

Have you been ignoring feedback?  Have you convinced yourself of something that might not be true? If you are stuck, and your manager offers you advice on how to change your situation, thank them, find something you can implement, and do it at your earliest convenience.  Then, come back and ask for more.  The number one complaint I hear from people is that they don’t get enough feedback.  Yet, when feedback is given, many of those same individuals become defensive and argumentative.  Remember, feedback is a gift.  It is meant to help you improve.  You don’t have to agree with it.  You don’t even have to use it.  But, for heaven’s sake, don’t argue with it.  Certainly don’t attack the provider.  None of the outcomes are likely to be in your favor.

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Your attitude is likely holding you back

Posted on February 24, 2012 by Scott Koon

“I discovered I always have choices and sometimes it’s only a choice of attitude.”
~Anonymous

I met with someone the other day who had a chip on his shoulder. He barged into my office, walked right up to my chair and leaned over me.  “I have been in this current position for seven years!  That is too long!  You need to give me a promotion!”

Or what?

I didn’t say it, but I thought it. This individual and I have been working off and on together for awhile.  He has potential.  However, he is also his own worst enemy.  We’ve had several meetings where I have pointed out behaviors and circumstances that have hurt his reputation and lowered his value to the organization.  I have tried to help him put together plans to improve (or manage around) those behaviors.  Unfortunately, he hasn’t made any changes.  He refuses to believe the problem could be with him.  He’s convinced the organization and I are to blame, and he regularly tells me how I should change my behavior and manage him differently.

Now, I am very interested in improving my own performance and try to be open to constructive feedback.  I am very aware that I am not perfect and have many opportunities for improvement.  Your supervisor (or organization) may as well.  But remember, this is not about your supervisor.  It is about you.  If you are stuck in your current position, stop looking outside of yourself for the answer.  If you don’t consider you could be responsible for the problem, then you will probably remain stuck.

The bottom line is this.  If you catch yourself making “Them versus us” statements about your team or administration, demanding things from your organization or supervisor, or saying things like “he should be doing this” or “the organization has to do this”, your attitude is likely the problem.

The best advice I can give is this… If you are stuck, adopt an attitude of questioning humility.  Take 100% responsibility for your current situation. Ask your supervisor and any coaches or mentors you have what you can do to increase your value to the organization (what do you mean you don’t have coaches or mentors?!?).  Then, either take that information and use it to make changes, or put your resume together and go job hunting.

Don’t play the victim.  Don’t blame others.  Change your attitude, and see what changes you can make.  You might be surprised at the result.

Image Credit: http://patriciaknight.wordpress.com/2011/07/28/bad-attitude-%E2%80%93-be-gone/
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Still stuck, find a project that is stuck and save it

Posted on February 15, 2012 by Scott Koon

“Problems are only opportunities in work clothes.”
~Henry Kaiser

Yesterday I was attending a meeting where folks discussed a list of projects that weren’t going well and brainstormed what to do about them.  It got me to thinking, if  others are passing you on the career ladder, a good option to improve your chances of moving up may be to turn around a floundering project.

So, how do you find a stuck project?  Here are some ideas based on the projects being discussed in the meeting.

  1. Look for a project or task everyone hates
  2. Look for projects that are still on the books but have taken at least a year, so far
  3. Look for sacred cows-those things that are that way, because they have always been that way
  4. Look for projects that frustrate your boss (meaning, he or she complains about them)
  5. Look for projects that just stopped with no apparent reason
  6. Look for things your organization does that your competition or industry stopped doing
  7.  Ask yourself and your colleagues why each project is being done.  Look for projects where nobody or few people know why the project is being done

So you’ve found a stuck project, now what do you do with it?  Here are four of the better ideas that came from the brainstorming.

  1. Kill it. Find a way to stop the project and free up its resources.  Be careful.  This may take some tact and careful planning.  Sometimes projects are stuck because they are the pet project of someone powerful or influential.  In many cases that person doesn’t want to admit the project isn’t going anywhere and nobody wants to step forward and suggest it be dismantled.  In these cases, if you can find a way to tactfully stop the bleeding, you may be a hero to the company and the person who owned the project.
  2. Finish it. Volunteer to organize the final push and the resources necessary to finish the project.
  3. Automate it. Look for ways to take the manual processes that are dreaded and make them happen automatically.
  4. Outsource it. If the deliverables of a project aren’t part of the core services of your organization why not find another organization willing to do provide for a reasonable cost?

What other ideas can you add?

Image Credit: http://programsuccess.wordpress.com/2011/10/24/cancelling-a-failing-project-key-steps/
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Stuck? Brainstorm a list of ways to get unstuck

Posted on February 2, 2012 by Scott Koon

“Personal power is the ability to take action.”
~Anthony Robbins

If you feel your career is going nowhere, it could be because you are doing the same things you have always done.  In other words, you’re in a rut.  While asking others their advice can be helpful, often you already have the answer.  You just need to get it out of your head and make it actionable.  Here’s how.

  1. Get a sheet of paper.
  2. List the issue, problem, or question at the top.
  3. Create a minimum number of ideas you need to come up with (make it high).  I recommend at least 20.
  4. Alternately, set yourself a time limit and see how many ideas you can come up with during that time.  Note: My experience is that I generate many more ideas setting a minimum number rather than setting a time limit.
  5. Write down everything that comes into your head.
  6. Don’t edit.  You’ll do that later.
  7. When you get stuck, go back to what you have written already, see if you can come up with sub-ideas of those you’ve already captured.
  8. See if you can come up with opposites.
  9. If you reach your goal number and still have ideas, try to come up with 10 more. Add in blocks of 10. For example if you get 31, force yourself to try and come up with 9 more to make it an even 40.
  10. Once your brain hurts from thinking of so many, start editing.
  11. Go through the list and remove any where you cannot think of two action steps to get you started with that idea.
  12. If your edited list is not at least 10 long, brainstorm more ideas.
  13. Now sort your list most favorite to least favorite.
  14. Take the top item, come up with an action you can do, today, to move you toward that idea and start working on it.

As you read this post, you may have been thinking “that it seems too simple.”  It isn’t.  I have used this on numerous occasions to help myself out of a rut.  I’ve also seen others use this advice and move themselves forward.  However, there is one secret ingredient that makes this work.  Step 14 is the critical piece.  I know lots of folks that make lists of things they would like to do, or should do.  I know fewer people who have made the leap from thought to action.  Yet those that leap have been happier and often much more successful. It is the leap that makes all the difference.

So, make your list, close your eyes, take a deep breath, tap your heals together three times, and take the leap!

Image Credit: http://www.tappingthematrix.com/Testimonials.html
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25 Ways To Give

Posted on January 24, 2012 by Scott Koon

“The value of a man resides in what he gives and not in what he is capable of receiving.”
~Albert Einstein

Networking is all about finding ways to provide value to those that you would like to have as part of your community.  It is about giving first, then reaping the combined returns.  However, finding ways to add value to everyone in your community can be a challenge.

Heck, that’s an understatement.  When things aren’t going well, it can feel impossible.  However, those are the times when you need to be the giving the most.  I like to say, “When the going gets tough, the tough get giving.”  Okay, I’ve never actually said that out loud, but I have thought it several times.

Anyway, during a time when I was stuck and was searching for ways I could afford to give, I came up with a list of ways that I could provide value to those in my network.  Here are twenty-five ways to add value to the members of your network.  Not every idea will work for everyone in your network, but all of them are simple, let others know they are important to you, and give you an opportunity to positively influence their day.

  1. Money.  You can always share your money.  This one is easy to do.  Surprisingly, it might also be the least valuable.
  2. Actively listen to someone.  Unfortunately, most people don’t listen very well, myself included.  Seriously listening takes time and significant energy. By listening to what someone is saying, asking them questions, and paraphrasing back to them what you have heard, you give them something they rarely experience–being heard and understood.
  3. Really get to know someone.  What is their favorite color?  What really frustrates them?  What makes them happy?  Many of our work-based relationships are very shallow.  Really getting to know someone not only makes them feel important, but it gives both of you more opportunities to share and give.
  4. Compliment someone or speak kindly to them.  In today’s business world, compliments are rare.  Often, the rule of the workplace is “no news is good news.”  A simple compliment can turn someone’s day around.  It can be worth more than gold.
  5. Provide ideas or suggestions.  Every product, every service, and every business started as an idea.  Suggestions can help others save time, energy, or money.  Both can be very valuable.  However, I think a warning is in order about ideas or suggestions.  Once you offer them, the gift is given.  Do not be too concerned about whether they are used or not.  The gift is in the giving, not in how it received or how it is used.
  6. A smile.  A smile can change someone’s whole day.  I once smiled at someone and she started crying.  When I asked what was wrong, she told me that my smile had been the first “nice thing” that had happened to them that day.
  7. A hug.  I am a big hugger.  I like giving them and I love getting them.  A real hug–one that comes from the heart–is a wonderful thing.
  8. An introduction to someone else.  Be a connecter.  You are the hub of your network.  If you know two people that could benefit from each other, introduce them and then get out of their way.
  9. Interesting articles.  I keep my eye out for articles that I think would interest others.  I also like to receive them.  Several posts for this blog were born from articles others have sent me.
  10. Food.  Need I say more?
  11. A gift.  It needn’t be large, just thoughtful.  A friend of mine once told me that every gift is a way of saying “I love you” to another person.  Small thoughtful gifts given randomly tell the other person that you thought about them.
  12. A referral or reference.  Putting in a good word for someone is a very easy way to add value.
  13. Do work for them.  Is there a way you can take something off their to-do list?  Even the offer of help can be greatly appreciated.
  14. Teach a skill.  Giving them a skill they didn’t have before is a huge way to give.  Look for things that are easy to teach and offer to share with people in your network.
  15. Assign them a special project.  If you are in a position to delegate work, offering someone an opportunity to work on a high profile or enjoyable project can be very valuable.  If the person in your network is a direct report, you must be careful to ensure assignments are “fair”, or you could get into trouble.  But, if you have a task that is fun there is often very little wrong with sharing the enjoyment with others.
  16. Provide a service they couldn’t or wouldn’t do for themselves.  Can you do something they can’t?  Are you willing to do something that they dread?  Either can be very valuable under the right circumstances.
  17. Lend them a hand.  “Many hands make light work,”  and, it is often fun.  One time I asked a friend of mine if he wanted to go for dinner.  He declined stating he needed to address and seal envelopes.  I offered to help so that he could get done faster.  Not only did we did make short work of the envelopes, but we had a great opportunity to visit while helping him be productive.  It was a win-win-win!
  18. Be honest.  This is one of the hardest gifts to give. We often feel that honesty will hurt others.  However, if we truly care about someone, an honest appraisal of their actions or situations can be very valuable.  Your care-based honesty may be the difference between success or failure.
  19. Be polite.  My wife and I taught our daughter to say “please” and “thank you”.  We also taught her to let others go first, and answer questions respectfully.  They seem small things, but we regularly get compliments on her outstanding behavior and politeness.  It is a very inexpensive way to give someone a gift, and is rare enough these days that it is very noticeable.
  20. Be patient.  Sometimes this can be very hard to do.  However, in most cases, being patient and taking time with someone can pay huge dividends to both of you.
  21. Forgive.  Never keep score, and never hold a grudge.  Both take too way too much energy.  Everyone will make a mistake now and then.  Be ready and willing to give others the benefit of the doubt and another opportunity.  If someone takes advantage of your forgiveness don’t be mad, just do your best to not associate with them anymore.
  22. Accept help.  Allowing someone to help you is not a sign of weakness.  Everyone wants to feel useful and productive.  Everyone will also need help from time-to-time.  Accepting help from someone gives them the opportunity to feel useful and is a great way to build, or strengthen a relationship.
  23. Pray for them.    If they are struggling with something, offering your prayers can be very uplifting.
  24. Kind thoughts.  What goes on in your head usually works its way to your actions and words.  Thinking kind things about someone often translates into warmth and a welcoming feeling for the other person.
  25. Write notes.  Handwriting is becoming very rare.  In fact, the last time I was hiring, I only received a single handwritten “Thank You” note.  It didn’t take them very long, but having that person take the time out of their day to gather a writing instrument and paper, then write their thanks, and send it to me sure made a favorable impression.  It demonstrated to me that they cared about the open position and were willing to work for it.

Are there other ways to give that I’ve missed?  I would love to have other suggestions.  Or, do you agree or disagree with any of the suggestions? Please comment.

Image Credit: http://inhabitat.com/giving-back-for-christmas/
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Forget fair! It IS about who you know.

Posted on January 15, 2012 by Scott Koon

It’s not what you know but who you know that makes the difference.
~Anonymous

You’ve probably heard the saying before.  During lunches or other work-related gatherings, I’ve heard many folks complaining that getting ahead is not about what you know, but more about who you know.  The truth is, they’re at least partially right.  Having skills is important to maintaining your position, but having a good network is critical for moving ahead–for a lot of reasons.

So, if you’re struggling to get ahead in your career it is likely because of who is (or isn’t) in your network.  In the past year, I’ve seen example after example of people moving up because of their relationships with others.  It could be as simple as recognition of their name in a stack of resumes, or an early tip that a position is going to be available.  On the other hand, it could be as big as being handed the opportunity by someone they know.   In just about every case, those without a reliable network are left complaining and feeling cheated.  Don’t be one of them.

The bottom line is, if all you are doing is sharpening your technical skills you are ignoring a huge part of your career development.  While you can’t ignore your skills, a winning strategy must include building your network.

A few words of warning are in order before you jump into action.  Building your network is not just having a large list of “friends”, “followers”, or contacts, and, it is not schmoozing.  It is about building a community around you.  To build this community and keep it healthy you need to create value for each of the individuals in your network.  In fact, if you focus on how you can continually add value to your network rather than how your contacts can give value to you, career advancement will likely “just happen.”

So where to start?  If going out and “networking” isn’t your style, here are some off-the-beaten-path ideas that have worked for me and others.

  1. Start a new hobby.  Hobby related meetings are a great place to meet people that have similar interests.   As a pilot and member of a flying club, I have met many people that have become very close friends.  Many of these people are also successful in business.  Flying is not the only hobby where this would be true.
  2. Join or get more involved at your place of worship.  Places of worship are great places to find others of similar faith and create strong, long-lasting relationships.
  3. Take a class.   When I was working on my Master’s degree, I met a lot of people who shared my interests and skills.  I also met others with differing backgrounds that worked inside my own organization.  I was able to develop strong relationships with several of them, and we have helped each other on numerous occasions.
  4. Go to a seminar.  Industry related seminars are great places to meet people that do the same work as you.  Further, since you are in the same industry, there is a good chance that you have skills and information that can be of value to many of the participants.
  5. Volunteer at your local school.  While chaperoning field trips, or helping with school activities for my daughter, I have been introduced to many interesting people.  Having my business card with me, and following up with information new acquaintances might find helpful has created some very satisfying relationships.
  6. Volunteer to organize a party (or other social event) at work.  Social activities are great places to learn more about co-workers and leaders within your organization.  These are great opportunities to build stronger relationships.  Further, many of these events cross organizational lines, giving you the opportunity to learn much more about the organization.
  7. Participate at events for local philanthropic organizations.  Some examples might include the Red Cross, the Salvation Army, a local soup kitchen, the Eagles, the Masons, etc.  Many successful people look for ways to give back.  I met some of my best friends while serving those less fortunate.  The new relationship and the ability to help others made my participation a double blessing.
  8. Email one of your favorite authors with a question about one of their books.  On several occasions, after finishing an excellent book, I have sent the authors emails expressing my thanks for their work, and asking questions.  While not everyone responds, on two occasions, the emails led to long-term relationships with the authors.  In both cases the author and I have been able to help each other in ways that I never would have imagined.
  9. Give a speech or presentation.  I have been blessed with the opportunity to give lots of presentations.  Whenever I met someone at the presentation, I tried to capture their contact information.  In many cases I have been able to follow-up with additional help.  But, things often don’t end there.  I cannot count the number of times relationships with these individuals has been helpful.
  10. Accept help or favors from others.  Often, one of the best gifts you can give another is the ability to be useful.  There have been many instances when a meaningful relationship of mine began when someone offered to help me.

No matter how you begin building your community, start it now.  The longer you wait, the longer it will be until you start seeing results.  Remember, the clock is ticking!

Image Credit: http://360bizblog.com/2011/171
Posted in Improvement, Networking | Leave a comment